Five Weirdest Holiday Travel Movies of The '00s
Polar Express isn't necessarily that weird, in and of itself. Or—okay—it is. It brings in some really sinister elements, such as X and Y. The real reason this movie is so fundamentally weird (creepy), though, is its animation. It was cutting-edge, for 2006. The character look almost like real people. Almost. Not quite, though. And the almost-but-not-quite effect is super creepy.
The main characters are kids. Somehow, creepy kids are generally creepier than creepy adults. (See: The Shining.) So there are some bonus creepy points. The movie gets even more of those for its CGI train conductor character, played by Tom Hanks, who looks almost-but-not-exactly like Tom Hanks. It's not just that the characters seem to fall just short of human. It's that they're falling just short of one very specific, recognizable human. Yikes.
Weird Score: 4/5
In this movie, two women do the 2006 equivalent of AirBnB-ing their houses to one another. The English woman goes to New York; the American woman goes to London. They both meet guys there and, again, they inexplicably and rapidly fall in love. Weird elements are scattered throughout:
-Amanda, played by Cameron Diaz, lost the ability to cry at fifteen when her parents got divorced. That can't possibly be how human psychology works. There's no way.
-The movie involves proto-AirBnB, but one of the main plot turns occurs in a video rental store. Those things shouldn't mix.
-Iris, the English character, solves the relationship separation issue by bringing her new boyfriend back to England with her. Amanda, on the other hand, solves it by staying in England until New Years'. What? How is that a solution, Amanda? You've bonded with your new boyfriend's two daughters, whose mother died only two years ago. How are you not thinking this through further? Do you have any plan? Are you going to just get these kids to bond with you more before leaving them? Have a heart, Iris.
Weird Score: 4/5
Let's set aside the whole issue of science for a moment. Let's set aside the fact that when the residents of the north pole discovered their stowaway child, they could have easily returned him instead of just... raising him as a worker.
What clinches this movie's weird factor, in my opinion, is Zooey Deschanel:
-When watching it with anyone, you will inevitably have to hear "Is that Zooey Deschanel?"
-Probably once per person you're watching it with
-The above doesn't really have anything to do with "weird," it's just kind of frustrating
Zooey Deschanel could very well be a natural blonde, but she still looks fundamentally wrong that way
-Why is her character dating Will Ferrell's character? 1) He's clearly too old for her. 2) By all normal human standards, he does not appear to be ready for dating. Hanging out with, sure, but not dating. Raise your standards, Zooey.
Seeing Zooey Deschanel in this movie is sort of like seeing clips of Georgie Clooney on Roseanne. Or, maybe not that weird, but still. She feels far too A-list to be playing this role. It's weird.
The Family Stone
This movie is almost Shakespearian, if we're specifically talking about Shakespeare plays where everybody swaps relationships during a party in the woods.
Also, why... do the couples that form at the end of the movie... like each other? They're caricatures of the whole "opposites attract" thing, and they seem to pretty much just not get each other. At all. Why do they want to be together? The movie doesn't bother to explain it. They're very different, so clearly they're just meant to be.
Weird Score: 4.9/5
It's A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie
Listen. Any Muppets product is bound to be a trip. Usually literally, actually. Figuratively, too, though. I haven't seen this movie in a very long time and only have a hazy recollection of it. That's all I need to know that it's very weird. Like, dark weird.
The whole movie is basically It's A Wonderful Life but with Kermit the Frog as the main character. The Muppets are transported to a Kermit-less universe. They're in a terrible state without him around to look after them:
-One of the Muppets is starring in an episode of Fear Factor (remember that show?) where he has to be swallowed by a person. Like, it doesn't happen, but that is gruesome.
-There's also a frog legs restaurant? Which, understandably, freaks out Kermit. Presumably, it also horrifies any children watching? But who even knows the age group of the target Muppet audience. Maybe this is all for grown thrill-seekers.
-To top it off, a park that is apparently central to the Muppet landscape, though it's not memorable from any past Muppet products, has been converted to a park.
Basically, imagine a realistic-dystopian Muppet movie with Christmas-y overtones and Mirrorverse undertones. That's It's A Very Muppet Christmas Movie.
Weird Score: 500/5